Articles

On Q-Anon, or To Those Waking Up from a Cult

March 7, 2026 6 min read

Jeffrey Epstein was Q-Anon You Dumb Fucks You got had. You've been played for a fool. You're a sucker. The dude who gave your marching orders would have sucked off Jeffrey Epstein on command when asked like a living, breathing fleshlight. Has one man ever caped for another man harder than Steve Bannon caped for Epstein. He was obsessed with being Jeffrey Epstein's best friend in private but then would parade around in public like he has the utmost disdain for the Secret Society of Pedophiles Ano

Satire

On Being Ivanka - or It's Not Fun When Your Dad's a Perv

March 7, 2026 2 min read

Look at this picture, good citizen You see that lip bite, don't lie to me, girl. You know you see that. For sure for sure. And what is happening to his groin area while he is biting his lip in a crowded public room. Just look at the dude in the far right of the picture silently thinking "Sir, what are you doing. My wife and I are literally sitting right next to you, and that girl looks young enough to be your daughter." Then his wife is sitting there right next to a public lap-dance trying to pr

Satire

To all the kids thinking about becoming a school shooter

March 5, 2026 3 min read

You've had a hard life. I know. Nobody at school likes you. Your family sucks. Your teachers don't care. I get it, man. Life can be tough. I don't know your life situation, but I know it ain't easy. But there are better people to shoot than your classmates. They're the members of the Trump administration who were friends with Jeffrey Epstein. If you're thinking of shooting up your school (or maybe just a church or a Walmart or something), maybe think of targeting this guy instead: This dude is a

Satire

On Space: the dumbass frontier?

March 5, 2026 2 min read

With current technology, flying to the nearest solar-system would be a 4000-year-long journey It might be a frontier for people a thousand years from now after completely rewriting our current laws of physics a couple of times over, but probably not anyone currently alive today. But sure, let's keep giving Elon Musk more money to plan that operation. That is a perfectly reasonable use of billions (or even trillions) of dollars. He probably needs some money to pay back those Diablo 3 account boos

Satire

On the Illuminati - AKA Jeffrey Epstein's Group Chat

March 5, 2026 1 min read

Who was Jeffrey Epstein? 🤔 To put is succinctly, he was an international-level gangster-pimp-serial-killer who systematically abducted poor girls from poor nations, as young as nine years old, and flew them to a secluded island (with handsomely-paid-off local jurisdiction) who then went on to rape, torture, pimp out, and dispose of used up "product" through a trap door in the basement of the mansion that goes straight to the ocean.

Satire

On Teetotalism - or Don and Jeffrey's Shared Vice

March 5, 2026 2 min read

"Since when is teetotalism a vice?" "Isn't that the opposite of a vice?" According to the Oxford dictionary definition, a teetotaler is "a person who never drinks alcohol". Don and Jeffrey aren't (and weren't respectfully) just teetotalers, but they are (and were) completely straight-edge (as in no drugs ever not even once). Our straight-edge commander-in-chief. What a legend. I've heard the Donald might pop an addy nowadays, though, so it seems satan's drugs might even have seduced God's chosen